Stop Helicopter Parenting: Balancing Empathy & Boundaries with Your Teens with guest Ann Coleman

At your wits end with trying to find effective consequences for your teen’s behavior? Maybe loosening the reins rather than tightening them might work better! (Hint: Stop helicopter parenting your teen!) On this episode of the Brainy Moms podcast, Dr. Amy and Sandy interview Ann Coleman, an attorney, parent educator, and host of the podcast, Speaking of Teens. Ann shares a deeply personal journey that many parents might find all too relatable. Imagine discovering that your child, already grappling with anxiety and ADHD, has turned to marijuana. Anne’s initial reaction was to tighten the reins through control and punishment, only to watch her relationship with her son deteriorate. However, a transformative encounter with a family counselor led her to embrace empathy and understanding, an approach she now champions through her podcast and Parent Camp program.

Ann’s story prompts us to question the long-held belief in helicopter parenting and its impact on teen autonomy. As we talk about societal pressures that push teenagers to behave beyond their developmental capabilities, there’s a stark reminder of the importance of mutual respect. The conversation veers into the pitfalls of projecting perfect family lives on social media and the real harm it can cause by stigmatizing parenting struggles. We emphasize the need for balance—between stepping in to guide teens and allowing teens to face natural consequences—a critical factor that can significantly influence adolescent development.

Through personal anecdotes and expert advice, we explore the pressures surrounding academic success and the value of redefining what it means to “succeed.” From managing the distractions of college life to understanding the significance of setting and negotiating boundaries, this episode offers a comprehensive look at fostering resilience and independence in teenagers. Ann’s insights, enriched by her own family experiences, serve as a guide for parents eager to connect with their teens in more authentic and supportive ways. Listen in to discover strategies that respect and nurture your teenager’s emerging identity while maintaining a safe and supportive environment.

Read more

Your Teen’s Anxiety: How Chores, Community, and Connection Could Help with guest Dr. Jodi Aman

Worried about your teen’s anxiety? Dr. Jodi Aman, renowned psychotherapist and TEDx speaker, joins Dr. Amy and Sandy on this episode of the Brainy Moms podcast to uncover the root causes behind the escalating anxiety epidemic among teenagers. It’s a bold statement, but modern conveniences might be making things worse. Dr. Aman suggests that the reduction in problem-solving opportunities due to cultural shifts has led to increased negativity and entitlement among teens. She argues that chores, often seen as mundane, are vital in alleviating teen anxiety, instilling resilience, and combating negative thought patterns. By categorizing chores into tedious, challenging, and generous, we examine how each type plays a crucial role in developing essential life skills and when tying chores to allowances might be appropriate.

Teen anxiety, often misunderstood as mere fear, is redefined in our conversation as a spectrum of discomfort triggered by stress hormones. Dr. Aman challenges the misconception of anxiety as a chemical imbalance and talks about the stigma that idea creates. Our discussion also touches on the historical context of anxiety, examining how our biological instincts have evolved to manage stress.

In the final segment, we explore the power of community, activities, and genuine human connections in fostering social engagement and mental well-being. Whether through family involvement in communal activities or even community theater, these experiences are pivotal in building a sense of belonging. We also offer actionable tips to guide teenagers towards a path of self-acceptance and agency. To enhance your understanding further, we present a concise guide, accessible on the author’s website, filled with practical advice for supporting the teens in your life. 

Read more

Surviving the Teen Years: Insights from Amy Betters-Midtvedt

On this episode of the Brainy Moms podcast, we dive into the emotional and practical aspects of parenting teens, focusing on the importance of flexibility, trust, and communication. Dr. Amy and Dr. Jody interview educator, author, and mom of 5 Amy Betters-Midtvedt who highlights the challenges faced by parents as their kids grow, the necessity of establishing boundaries with technology, and the value of teaching effective friendship skills to create healthy social connections.

We discuss being flexible in parenting teenagers, navigating social media and privacy for teens, understanding and coaching friendships among teens, managing household responsibilities collaboratively, creating a bank of trust based on individual needs, and managing the emotions around the transition to an empty nest.

Read more