self-harm

Teen pain often wants proof, and too many families discover self-harm the hardest way—by finding the evidence. Dr. Amy sits down with returning guest Stacy Schaffer, a licensed professional counselor, to unpack non-suicidal self-injury with clarity and care. We name what NSSI is and isn’t, explore why it seems to provide fast relief to hurting teens, and talk through what to do the moment a teen opens up. You’ll hear how shame keeps kids silent, how calm presence invites honesty, and why a clear plan beats punishment every time.

We dig into real-world guidance for parents, coaches, and teachers: how to thank a teen for their trust, offer choices for bringing caregivers into the conversation, and separate safety steps from secrecy-inducing consequences. Stacy explains the addictive loop—dopamine, relief, and reinforcement—that can build around cutting or burning, and how speaking to a teen’s own values and near-future moments (prom, summer jobs, sports uniforms) often lands better than distant warnings. We also highlight the long tail of scars and how regret can surface even after the behavior stops.

Most importantly, we share practical tools to bridge the urges: sensory substitutions like sour candy, ice, and specialized fidgets that create safe discomfort; 15-minute “urge surfing” to let intensity pass; and when tracking “sober days” can motivate rather than shame. We cover safety planning—locking up sharps without locking down trust—and the power of a supportive circle of adults beyond the home. Throughout, we keep the focus on curiosity over judgment and parenting the child you have in today’s always-watched, always-connected world.