Self-care: It’s not selfish, and it’s probably not what you think! with guest Dr. Tamara Beckford

About this Episode

If you’ve ever felt stressed (like, you know, every other mom who’s lived through the past two years), and if you’ve ever tried to do something about it, it’s likely that someone, somewhere along the way, has asked you this question: “What do you do for self-care?” We know, we know, that can cause quite a visceral reaction! In fact, it does just that for our very own Dr. Amy. But—here’s the good news! According to our latest podcast guest, Dr. Tamara Beckford, self-care is probably not what you think!

Join Dr. Amy Moore and Sandy Zamalis as they chat with Dr. Beckford about her own self-care journey, where to start if you’re ready to embark on your own journey, and how very important our own self-care is to our children’s understanding of what it means to be a parent. Because, statistically speaking, many of them will eventually parent their own kids! We really enjoyed this conversation, and left with some personal, real-world ideas for how to reframe self-care as a reasonable practice—that may or may not involve journaling OR the nail salon.


About Dr. Tamara Beckford

Dr. Tamara Beckford is a board-certified emergency physician, wife, and mom. She is the CEO of UR Caring Docs, where she helps help companies create amazing cultures and boost employee retention through self-care workshops. She also hosts the Dr. Tamara Beckford Show, where she has interviewed over 150 physicians about self-care, wellness, and the fantastic things they are doing inside and outside clinical medicine. Dr. Beckford has been a guest on dozens of podcasts and has discussed the importance of selfcare on many platforms, including Power to Fly, Scale Your Business Summit, and Blaze Virtual Summit. She is also a Success Mentor at the EntreMD Business School (EBS), the largest school for physician entrepreneurs in the United States.

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Read the transcript for this episode:

Dr. Amy Moore: Hi, and welcome to this episode of Brainy Moms, brought to you today by LearningRx Brain Training centers. I’m your host, Dr. Amy Moore, coming to you today from Colorado Springs, Colorado, and I am joined by my co-host, coming to us from Stanton, Virginia, Sandy Zamalis. Sandy and I are so excited to welcome our guests today, Dr. Tamara Beckford. Dr. Beckford is a wife, Mom, board certified emergency physician and CEO of URCaring Docs and URCaring Society, where she helps busy, professional women put their wellness first without guilt. Dr. Beckford has spoken about the importance of self-care on many platforms and is the host of the Dr. Tamara Beckford show, where she has interviewed over 150 doctors about self-care and wellness. She is here today to talk to us about why self-care is not selfish.

Sandy Zamalis: Welcome, Dr. Beckford.

Dr. Tamara Beckford: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, ladies. I’m so excited to be on your show today. 

Sandy Zamalis: Self-Care is a topic that is so important for busy moms, but it can be a little bit controversial, especially when you individualize what self-care looks like for you. But before we dig in, give our listeners a little bit about your background and how you ended up doing what you do.

Dr. Tamara Beckford: Absolutely. So as you lovely ladies mention, I’m Dr. Tamara Beckford and I’m a board certified emergency physician. I am working out of Houston, Texas. So, within the last, uh, I’d say practicing now for almost like 14 years, um, there’s this little thing that occurred over the last two and a half years is called a pandemic. It’s just this minor interruption that occurred in our lives, if you remember, just this minor thing. [laughs] But during that time, I recognized that I was really living an autopilot during those first 10 or so years of, at that point working as an ER doc, you know, career mom, wife as a mom at that time during the latter half. My kids were very, very young. During the pandemic when it started, my son, I had a one-and-a-half-year-old and a three year old. Now my stress level was really up to the hill, and I think that it was just normal stress and then, the pandemic came and I had to make that decision. Am I just gonna continue being stressed out and being anxious and worrying consistently because that’s where we were? Or was I gonna try to make a different decision? So I think my body in my mind decided like, “you know what, no, we’re not going this route. We’re already too stressed out.” So, I noticed that I started doing things a little bit different and that as I looked at myself and then I looked at my colleagues, I noticed that we had two different ways of approach in life. Our attitudes at work were different. Our stress levels were different. And I started to wonder, well, why was that? And I realized this because I started to incorporate self-care. So, these are some of the techniques that I incorporated in myself, and as I looked and noticed that, so did others. My medical director, he said, “hey, you know you’re fair enough, a little bit different than your colleagues.” And I’m like, “yeah.” My colleagues were saying, “hey, you know, you’re so Zen. You must be practicing what you preach.” I said, “I absolutely am!” And so that’s when I realized like, wow, the power of self-care. You know, it’s not just something that we do so that we can feel great. It really is a superpower that we need to tap into so that we can continue to do all the wonderful things that we do with all this grace and you know, and feel as best as we can for most of the time, because it’s not possible to feel great all the time. We acknowledge that.

Dr. Amy Moore: Absolutely. All right, so let’s talk about some basics, right? We hear this term self-care all the time. And I know for me, Sometimes it creates this visceral response, right? And someone’s like, “well, what do you do for self-care?” And I’m like, “ugggggh, self-care. Who’s asking me that?” And I’m like, “I get my nails done. That’s all I need.” So, talk to us a little bit about what that term self-care really means.

Dr. Tamara Beckford: Absolutely. And I love that you used that example of the visceral nail salon—“no,  I’m not going to the spa.” Oh my gosh. “No. I’m not making 5 million appointments to go get my hair done in the name of self-care,” right? So, self-care really is incorporating all the activities that you used to do for yourself to align your mind, your body, and your spirit, that you might have lost during this time where you’re now riddled with titles. You’re a career woman, you’re a mom, you’re a wife, but who is Amy? You know? What did Amy like to do before she became Dr. Amy? You know, what did Sandy like to do before all of these titles came around? What did Tamara like to do? If we really look at ourselves, we got lost in the sauce. So, what I use when I talk about self-care is really bringing back the essence. That is the time that you use for yourself to make you feel at peace and to bring back that you, when you were younger, when you had all the freedom, no responsibilities. You know, when you were just at your most happiest moment in time, or you were just at peace. That’s what self-care is. It’s not really nails. For some people it is, but for most of us, it’s not.

Dr. Amy Moore: That’s a really broad definition, for sure. I mean, because what brings you peace might not be what brings me peace. What brings you joy might not be what brings me joy. What you miss before you had all these titles might not be what I miss, right? And so that, gosh, I feel like just that simple explanation takes so much pressure off the idea that I need to be doing something for self-care, as opposed to: what do I need to put back in my life that I miss?

Dr. Tamara Beckford: Exactly. And that’s, that’s it. What do I bring back, versus what do I have to do? Because if, for me, that same visceral response that you have? Having to have something every two weeks, “I have to go and get my nails done every two weeks.” Like, that’s not self-care for me. That is stress for me now, being able to say, “okay, I’m gonna take 20 minutes to myself every morning to just do something that I love. You know what? There’s this really great book that I love, and it just brings me peace to just read it really quickly before the rest of the world starts attacking me and asking me for everything…” that’s self-care. You know? So, like you said, bringing back versus taking away. We’re, we’re getting taken from consistently. So, what can we bring back to ourselves?

Sandy Zamalis: So we don’t have to add any new routines or morning journaling? [laughs]

Dr. Tamara Beckford: [laughs] Morning journaling? Well, that’s the beauty of Self-care. I love that you say that. Like, so I could say like, “Sandy, um, have you journaled for your self-care?” Uh, if journaling is bringing you stress, the answer is no. If it’s like podcasting, if we’re listening to a wonderful podcast that just really brings you peace, then that answer is yes. That’s my, that’s what I’m doing for self-care. Like, you know, self-care is an alignment of your mind, your body, and your spirit. It’s not an antagonistic pull of what someone else likes to do. I mean, you test it out, you don’t like it. Guess what? That’s not for you. And that’s it. So, what is supposed to be bringing you peace? So, what brings you peace? What makes you feel more at ease? It could be something that you add to your routine that you’ve never thought about, that you tried and you’re like, “wow, I really like this and I feel great doing it.” But it also could be something that you used to do that you, that you miss doing because you didn’t have the time. And so you’re bringing it back and you’re making that time for yourself. And it’s individualized. Self-care is very individualized. 

Sandy Zamalis: I love that.

Dr. Amy Moore: I love the freedom that that gives us, to define it and not feel guilty about how we define it. And so, we joke—listeners hear me talk about coffee on every single episode, and so I…occasionally I go, “well, maybe I need to give up my afternoon latte.” And I’m like, “no! That is my form of self-care.” Is to have that, because the smell brings me joy. The tactile experience of holding that warm cup brings me peace and comfort. It’s relaxing. I love the taste. That to me is, A form of self-care. Once I defined it that way, I stopped feeling guilty about it.

Dr. Tamara Beckford: Absolutely. And it brings about all the hormones that are associated with self-care, right? You have that anticipatory hormone, you have that bonding period, you have that reward, and you know, and you’re probably at peace because the way you’ve described how you’re having that afternoon espresso or your afternoon coffee, it sounds like you’re taking some time to yourself to just enjoy it, you know? You’re not scarfing it down.

Dr. Amy Moore: Right? I’m not doing espresso shots! [laughs]

Dr. Tamara Beckford: Shots! Yeah. You’re really just—I bet you that there’s so many things, physiologically, within your body. Your heart rate’s probably gone down, your cortisol level’s gone down, your tension, your shoulders are probably nice and relaxed. Your body’s in a relaxed pose and in your mind, it’s either empty or thinking about something that’s pleasurable, that’s releasing more pleasurable hormones in your body. That’s self-care! That’s just similar to that person who is sitting and meditating and taking their breath down. Now, rest is assured, yes. You might have some of your listeners who’re like, “well, coffee, it’s a stimulant!” Yes, we understand that. But, it’s the act of everything that goes along with it that brings you peace. Like, why would we wanna take that away?

Dr. Amy Moore: Yes. So I’m gonna take this clip of what you just said, and I’m gonna actually share it with my physician. I’m just gonna say, “well, Dr. Tamara Beckford said that this is an appropriate form of self-care, because that’s how I’m defining it. And listen to the physiological benefits that you’re getting from this.” [laughs] So in all seriousness, speaking of benefits. Talk to our listeners about what are the benefits of self-care.

Dr. Tamara Beckford: Oh, man. There’s so many great benefits. So, you know the health of course, we’ll talk about the health. Yeah, I’m a doctor. So, there’s so many great health benefits of self-care. Now, one of the aspects of life that we talked about and even I mentioned is the cortisol level that is consistently high because we’re consistently producing a lot of cortisol within our bodies, right? And that’s one of our stress hormones. So, you’re under a lot of stress. I’m under a lot of stress. You know, I work in the ER, I’m pretty sure if you were to draw my cortisol and check my cortisol level, it’s consistently high. So, to have something that brings me joy, that brings me peace, that helps to really relax me. That’s a healthy way of bringing the cortisol levels down. Now, why is this important? The cortisol level is your stress hormone. There are a lot of parts of our bodies that it effects, right? Now, you’re supposed to just really have that stress hormone when that tiger is coming after you. If you guys are watching, there isn’t really a tiger behind me, and therefore I don’t really need that stress hormone to be there cuz I don’t need the extra energy to run away from a tiger. But this way life is, we have now incorporated that as just, it’s now a part physiologically that we’re releasing it from our day-to-day, and our bodies can’t tell like, “we need to slow this down.” So, we need to have periods in our lives that we can really have these hormone levels slow down. And in doing so, we have to try to do it physiologically, right? By have working on our stress, our persistently high-stress lives, and that’s important. High blood pressure—reducing the stress reduces your pressure. Reducing the cortisol breaks down into steroid—it is a steroid. High sugar consistently in the body causes issues with weight gain…There are just so many of that physiological issue.

Dr. Amy Moore: Well, let me stop you right there. So, for our listeners, this is a term that you might relate to. What Dr. Tamara Beckford is saying is that you are stuck in the fight or flight response all day when you are living a stressful life.

Dr. Tamara Beckford: Yes—consistently stressful life. Yeah. And so that fight or flight response, you’re consistently just releasing that hormone that is supposed to be released in a short burst to help you get away from that tiger, which is what our physio. But you’re living that stressful life. So the hormone is just consistently being released. So you’re not getting a burst. It’s just consistently being released and that’s not good for us. So, with you incorporating self-care, incorporating ways to reduce your stress, you can now tell the body, “I’m not under stress.” So, the body will say, “oh, I don’t need to release this excessive hormone.” So that’s a great way. Now there are also benefits. Which is sleep. Sleep is such a huge benefit within our body. So, we know that a great part of self-care is getting great sleep. Now, I know we have some people out there like, “yeah, three hours is all I need!” Um, No. Thank you. Not—your body is like, “oh Lord, there we go again. Depriving me of sleep.” But there are just so many benefits of sleep, which is a great part of self-care. Now, sleep is a restorative portion of our body, right? It’s our rest and reset button. So, our cells, they need to reset. They have to do their housekeeping, you know, get rid of all the old and dead portions, and then to restore this new lovely portion, which is why people who get rest, look so great and have great skin. I mean, why do you think you’re putting on your retinol at night? Come on ladies! Do you think that they’re putting all that retinol in the daytime? No, we’re putting it on at night to restore ourselves. So that’s the importance of sleep, but plus another important aspect of sleep is to deal with our hunger hormones. So, you know, our body goes and it knows, “okay, let me reset this pattern.” And therefore, if we’re up all night, you notice that your body’s just like, “okay, well, um, let’s just keep snacking,” right? So, when you get some rest, then the hunger hormone gets to be reduced. And that, of course, will help with not just weight loss, that’s important, but it just helps with our healthy body and our hunger and our cravings, period. So that’s another importance of self-care, right rest. Sleeping. And you notice we haven’t even spoken about the salon and we haven’t spoken about the nail shop. We just spoke about rest and sleeping and reducing our stress. So, another great importance of self-care is, um, community. And that’s a thing that I love and a lot of times when we think about Self-care, we’re not thinking about community. But community is a great part of self-care. Think about it ladies, like when you have set up to hang out with people you love hanging out with. Think about how you feel when that time is coming up. You’re like, “okay, well we’re having ladies night,” or “we’re all meeting here. We’re all gathering out.” You have that lovely anticipatory hormones when you go out, you’re laughing, you’re releasing additional sets of hormones. You’re bonding, which is another set of hormones. And then when you go home, you anticipate another time to be able to meet up with these people. That’s another portion of self-care, you know. So, hanging out or being around like-minded people who brings you joy? That’s the alignment of spirits that I love to talk about incorporating in self-care. So these are just really simple ways—and these are different ways to think about self-care, right?

Dr. Amy Moore: Absolutely.

Dr. Tamara Beckford: We didn’t even talk about the salon!

Dr. Amy Moore:  All right. It doesn’t feel selfish! Well, and I love that you brought up that community piece. I feel completely relaxed and fulfilled. By having lunch with my husband after church, right? Like, if he says to me, “let’s go to lunch, just the two of us.” To me, I feel like that is a form of self-care. Taking that time to nurture that relationship. That sense of connection. Um, and then if we go shopping and he buys me stuff afterwards, then that’s about—

Dr. Tamara Beckford: I mean, like, that’s like the ultimate care. [laughs]

Dr. Amy Moore: Oh yeah.

Dr. Tamara Beckford: But it’s just really—when you think about it, these are short bursts, little things that you can do that has big effect on the way you feel and, just the way that you approach life, right? But they’re just very small things and all of this is individualized. Like for you, you’re mentioning, “I love, you know, going after church and having lunch with my husband.” Someone else, it might be like, “oh my gosh, I love having game night with my ______.” You know, there are times that we come together with laughter or even just connectivity. The whole point is that oxytocin release, is that bonding. It’s a bonding hormone. You know, that’s the same hormone that bonds mother to child, and a lot of times we think like that’s it, but our body still has a hormone. It didn’t like, “okay, let me flip that switch off. Thank you guys. Your kids are now grown!” The hormone is still within the body. So, when you connect with someone, and I always say that hormone, the connectivity. You could connect with the wrong person, or you could connect with the right person, but it’s gonna release, so you know, you choose who you wanna be around. So when you’re around someone consistently, you find that you start to bond with them. That’s that hormone that’s connecting you and having you bond. So, if you’re bonding with people who bring you peace and makes you feel happy—Like I do, I have that set of people in my life that every Wednesday—Wednesdays are my hardest days—like ladies, Wednesdays are my hardest days. But yet still is the most fulfilling day, because I get to connect with others who are like-minded. So as much as it’s a hard day that, had I not had this schedule to connect with these people, I would probably be stressed out. Because after my connection, then my periods when I’m just relaxed, then I go about the rest of my week. It’s as if like it’s a short burst of my espresso in the middle of the week.

Dr. Amy Moore: I love that. I’ve read this study once, it’s been forever ago. But it was something like, if you sit arm to arm, like flesh to flesh, for 10 minutes with someone that you care about, that it lowers cortisol levels and releases oxytocin. And so this whole act of sitting on a couch next to someone you like…

Dr. Tamara Beckford: Mm-hmmm, and if you really think about it, there are a lot of times, which is why the hormone is so powerful. You know, you’re gonna bond irrespective, right? How many times have we read studies, even when it comes to like intimacy? Like, you just even just need to be there. Just the skin. The skin is a powerful organ that we really don’t like take into account how powerful it is because they’re just like, “yeah, your acne, oh, I have wrinkles!” But there’s just so many other things that’s out there. I mean, when we think about just from birth, from mom to baby, you know? When you have your baby and you put your baby on your chest, skin to skin, immediately hormones are released. For the woman, your breast is filled with milk—just from that skin-to-skin. Now, when you’re moved beyond that and, and then you’re also having that release of the oxytocin, that bonding—when you’re, like you mentioned, beside someone that you care about. You’re not even talking, you’re not even having a conversation. You’re just there. And I mean, for a lot of us who’ve had like, you know, I’m here with my husband, I’ve done that sometimes, and I just feel happy. You’re like, just at peace. And so if you have that person that you love, you know it’s there. Even if you do it with your child, it’s the same thing. You know?

Dr. Amy Moore: Well, and it’s good for them, too.

Dr. Tamara Beckford: Absolutely. Yeah. They get that bonding and that hormone is there. And, you know, you can just see that they just feel loved and you haven’t said anything. So, imagine just using this thing. I mean, it’s such a powerful hormone, so it doesn’t have to be with a loved one. The same hormone is exuded when you’re there connecting with people you care about, such as your friends—like a really great friend that you just love spending time with. You know, the hormones are just as powerful then.

Sandy Zamalis: Do you feel like this is a harder concept for moms who have a professional day-to-day job, like yourself, or stay-at-home moms? Or is it kind of equally balanced between both groups? In terms of figuring out, you know, the self-care fit of it into of my day-to-day, and am I taking that time to make sure that I’m lowering those cortisol levels and taking time for myself.

Dr. Tamara Beckford: I think that’s a great question and I think it’s hard for all of us. I think it’s hard for stay-at-home moms and I think it’s hard for career moms. And I do wanna make sure that you guys, this is not a hormone release podcast. [laughs] But, I think it’s hard for both. Because by nature, we are riddled with guilt, no matter what we do. We feel riddled with guilt when we stay at home to take care of our children. We feel like we need to be the best… fill-in-the-blank… at home. Like, you know, the best homemaker. “My house has to be spotless. I am at home. Therefore, you know, everything that I need to do needs to tend to my child or to my spouse, or to this person.” So you’re being pulled, pulled, pulled, right? The person who is the career woman, the same thing. “I need to be the best in my career, and when I get home, I need to be as much as I can.” Even if you do have help in other aspects of your life, you’re still riddled with guilt that, “I spend too much time away from my child.  Will my child love me? Am I spending enough time with my spouse?” And a lot of this you’re worried about a lot of external factors. So both stay-at-home moms and career women and moms are having these external factors that you’re worrying about. Now, putting themselves first is such a challenging concept because it’s like, “well, once I have my child, I’m no longer first, My child is first.” Um, no, your child can’t be first because if you are not there, what’s gonna happen to the child? You have to be first. You know? It is the old adage that we hear about on the airplane, about putting the oxygen mask on yourself [first]. Because your child will be happier having a mom that’s there and present physically, emotionally, and spiritually, than to have a mom that’s there, present physically, and everything else is gone. Right? So, when you incorporate these small forms of self-care that we talk about here, you have filled your cup. Your cup is overflowing, and all that overflow, you have to give to everyone else. And you’ll never feel as if. you’ll have to be riddled with guilt. You’ve never feel doubt, you’ll never feel that “I’ll have to sit and worry about if my child is gonna care.” Your child is going to know that you love them. Your family knows that you love them. You’re able to give everything to them, and you have no guilt because your cup is still full. You know? You’re giving that overflow and that overflow—once you’re able to give that overflow and consistently give it over and over, you are happy. You’re at your best. You’re consistently at your best. So that’s the way that we really have to look at this. We have to change the narrative and change the viewpoint that we have in our mind that, “I’ll give it once I’ve done everything else. Whatever I have left over.” No, you’re giving everything else after you filled yourself.

Sandy Zamalis: So how do you start? [laughs] Like, what permission do you give yourself and, you know, what’s a baby step to get to?

Dr. Tamara Beckford: So a baby step that I always say is really—look, at first, it’s really gonna require a little bit of time and it requires you thinking about what it is. It goes back to the beginning of what we talked about. What is it that you like to do? What have you removed from your life that you really liked, that you can bring back? You know?  And it doesn’t have to be huge. Like some people might be like, “I loved to travel.” And so, I mean, if you’re stressed out, who wants to put together a vacation? That’s just gonna add stress, right? But what is it that you liked to do? Is it just that you wanna start maybe looking at places that you will eventually wanna go to, or even listening podcast and you know…small steps. Is it, “I love this particular type of food. Oh, you know what, I’m gonna take myself to this particular type of place, but it’s a me date. And no, you can’t come along. Thank you for asking.”

Sandy Zamalis: I would throw out that mine is the Mexican. It’s always Mexican [food].

Dr. Tamara Beckford: Yes, exactly! And, you know, if you drink, sit there, enjoy the meal in the middle of the day, have your margarita and you know, just make sure you’re not drunk because, and if you are, you Uber back.

Dr. Amy Moore: Or have a latte!

Dr. Tamara Beckford: Or a latte in the middle of the day, and really just sit. But it’s really just taking, what are those little steps that you have to just give yourself a little bit of peace? What is it that you can sit and think about? Man, I used to love doing this, and I haven’t done this in so long. Fiction. I used to love reading romance novels and oh my gosh, all I’m reading are ABC books. And oh my gosh, if I see another Cocomelon thing, I’m gonna go crazy! So why don’t I take that time out and get a book and I’m gonna give myself 20 minutes of just like immersing into this fiction or this romance novel, and 20 minutes a day is all I need for myself. It really does wonders.

Dr. Amy Moore: Yeah. So, I had this “aha” moment while you were talking a couple minutes ago. About how moms need to stop feeling guilty; that they can’t pour from an empty cup; that they have to take care of themselves first. And if we choose not to, if we choose to continue the rat race that we’re living and working and moming in, without caring for ourselves, what example are we setting? What message are we sending to our children about how moms should be?

Dr. Tamara Beckford: Yes.

Dr. Amy Moore: Oh, moms have to go, go, go, go, go and never care about themselves, right? Moms give and give and give, but can never take, right? What message are we sending, that we’re just gonna perpetuate the next generation, living in that constant fight or flight? That stage, right?

Dr. Tamara Beckford: Absolutely.

Dr. Amy Moore: Like we’re creating more problems than we’re solving.

Dr. Tamara Beckford: Absolutely. Absolutely. No, it’s very powerful when you look at it that way. Because if we look at ourselves and we look at our generation before us, and we compare ourselves to that generation, and that’s our benchmark as to what we consider a great X, Y, Z. Like, oh my gosh. If we even think about us, like, you know, we had, some of us had moms who were stay-at-home moms, and then some of us had moms who were career moms, right? And for those of us who might have had stay-at-home moms, who were just really good and super organized, but we are career driven women. We now compare ourselves at home to our moms. So, if our house isn’t spic-and-span, you know, like how mom used to do it. But we’re trying to do that and be career and we consider ourselves failure, right? Because we feel like we need to do everything that mom used to do at home, because that’s what we saw. And so that’s a cycle that we’re doing and we’re adding what we’re doing at work and trying to do everything that mom did at home. So now, if we are now in this cycle that we’re just doing that and we’re burning ourselves out consistently in front of our kids, our kids are using us as the template, just like we used our parents as our template. So, it’s so important for us to learn how to break that cycle. And let our children know that no, it’s important to stop, take a break and pour into yourselves. And it’s not selfish to do that.

Dr. Amy Moore: Love that. All right. So, we need to take a break and, uh, let Sandy read a word from our sponsor. And then when we come back, we wanna hear about your show and the other resources that you have available, uh, for listeners who might wanna learn more from you.

Dr. Tamara Beckford: Absolutely.

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Dr. Amy Moore: And we’re back. Talking to Dr. Tamara Beckford about the importance of self-care and how it is not selfish. So, tell us about the Tamara Beckford Show .

Dr. Tamara Beckford: So, I do myself have a podcast called the Dr. Tamara Beckford Show. So, on my show I get to highlight amazing physicians who are doing wonderful things inside and outside of clinical medicine. So if you’re interested, I have a wonderful library of physician podcasts. I’ve interviewed over 150 of my colleagues and they’re all available on my, URCaringDocs website, which you were mentioning. So, um, it’s If you hit the podcast list, then you’ll see all their beautiful faces and you can click listen, and you know, you’ll see the different topics. Amazing.

Sandy Zamalis: There’s so many of them. I was impressed with this. How many different doctors there were!

Dr. Amy Moore: We’ve actually interviewed a couple of them and we have another one coming up next week!

Dr. Tamara BeckfordL Yes, absolutely. They’re very like, fantastic people. Amazing. Amazing. I love hearing their stories and I love showing and highlighting the different facets of things that we’re doing outside of our clinical medicine. You know, things like this, like me talking about self-care. And you’re like, “what? You’re an ER doc.” I know. I know. In between that there’s something important too, which is self-care.

Dr. Amy Moore: You are allowed to know more than one thing. [laughs]

Sandy Zamalis: [laughs] Exactly, yeah. What other ways can listeners connect with you, Dr. Beckford?

Dr. Tamara Beckford: So they can connect with me through LinkedIn. I am Tamara Beckford, MD on LinkedIn. There you’ll be able to see me live every Thursday at 12:0 p.m. Central. I have a live interview and that’s where my podcast is highlighted. So, if you wanna jump on live and you know, go into chat, so I can give you a quick shout out during the show, then you can do that there. And then you can always, um, go to my main website. Like I said, I have a free download there if you want to know, “hey, where do I start this four week journey into self-care?” Part of it does say journaling, Sandy, but you can choose if you want to or not. It’s just—these are just ideas. They’re not mandatory.

Dr. Amy Moore: Sandy’s like, “I’m out!”

Sandy Zamalis: [laughs] I was going along until the journaling.

Dr. Tamara Beckford: I love it. And then for anyone else who wants to connect with me, you can connect with me on Facebook at Tamara Beckford, or you can do so at @urcaringdocs on Instagram. I’d love to connect with you all.

Dr. Amy Moore: Excellent. Is there anything you haven’t gotten to say today that you would like to leave our listeners with?

Dr. Tamara Beckford: I really want to highlight that, you know, busy moms, we understand, we hear you, we see you. You’re doing your best and don’t ever forget that. And, you know, never let anyone try to riddle you with guilt for you taking time out to build yourself, so that you can give your best to everyone else. That’s okay. Don’t feel guilty, and that’s the importance of your self-care. You need to give to yourself also.

Dr. Amy Moore: That’s a great sound bite.

Dr. Tamara Beckford: You can have it. [laughs]

Dr. Amy Moore: All right, so we’re outta time and need to wrap up, but this has been a fantastic, really eye opening, and important conversation that we’ve had today. We would like to thank you, Dr. Tamara Beckford, for joining us, for sharing your wisdom and your tips, and a unique way of looking at the importance of self-care and teaching us and our listeners that we don’t have to feel guilty about taking time to renew and refresh ourselves. So, if you would like more information about Dr. Beckford’s work, her website is You can find her on Facebook and Instagram @urcaringdocs, and we’ll put all of her links and handles the ones that she mentioned, as well, in the show notes so that you can find her in all of her amazing interviews and even go on the journey that she suggested, as well. Journaling or not. So, thank you so much for listening today. If you like us, please follow us on social media. We are on every platform @theBrainyMoms. If you liked our show today or any day, we would love it if you would leave us a five-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to our show. If you would rather watch us, you and about seven other people can see us on video. I like to say it that way because most people listen. [laughs] But we are on YouTube for those of you who want to watch. Um, if you would like to be on our show or suggest a topic or guest for our show, you can email me directly at Dr. Amy at LearningRx dot com or visit Brainy Moms dot co.

So look, until next time, we know that you’re busy moms. And we’re busy moms. So we’re out. Sandy Zamalis: Have a great week.